Tuesday, June 17, 2008

What Happened Here?

So, I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but I just gotta say it.

Pregnancy does nothing good for a gal's body! I know that I am most likely preaching to the choir here (since we are all moms), but I got out of the shower today and had to muffle a scream.

At first, I thought it was just the "post-pregnancy" phase of the deal, but I am now convinced that is a load of propaganda. With the mini-hunk's first birthday fast approaching, I realize that this mutation is permanent.

The upper half of me has migrated south and apparently it wasn't just for the winter. It's summer now, and it is still down south....way down south. If Victoria has a secret for me, it will be nothing short of rocket science.

Then there are the nether regions that I would rather not discuss....ever. Yeah, I think that type of conversation is covered by doctor/patient confidentiality, so I probably shouldn't talk about it.

Even my hairstylist, said to me, "What has happened to your hair? It's so...different!" (NOTE: when someone says "different" in that context, it means "horrific".)

Here is the kicker: Despite all this, we are talking about getting pregnant again..umm...in about half a decade!

Maybe I will get some hair weave in the meantime? Sigh.

8 comments:

Cathy ~ Tadpoles and Teacups said...

Hilarious!
Oh my, I'm so sorry you've discovered the awful truth. Let me tell ya, one time someone asked if I was expecting, and horror of horrors, I wasn't. I told them this was just the left-overs.

Love you!

C

P.S. Victoria gave up on me loooooonnng ago. That is the secret.

Lori said...

LOL!!! too funny:) i still have loose belly skin that looks like an elephant hide when i bend over...i don't bend over any more...EVER!!! oh, did i scare you? yes, that charming feature was a result of my SECOND pregnancy...have fun!!!

Pregnantly Plump said...

My body has also changed, but unfortunately I'm still just as small up top as I was before. No real need for Victoria's Secrets here.
My hair texture didn't change, though. Is your hair more curly or a different color?

The Burp Cloth Babe said...

My hair color is much darker, and I did have super straight hair. Now it is kind of wavy in spots and still super straight in others...strange!

kari and kijsa said...

Too funny (oh we can relate!!!) Kari's hair changed with each child from wavy/straight/wavy!!!

blessings,
kari & kijsa

Jeni said...

I hear you on the hair thing, I still have weird little whispies where none existed before. And the gray hairs that were once sprinkles have now become a plague behind my ears and my temples.

Tamara said...

Lol! Funny.

You have an awesome blog, but I'm just stacking another reason onto my pile of reasons not to have kids quite yet!

latree said...

weird. I have nothing changed even after two pregnances of three babies...
*what a lie!*

hey burp, check this out when you got time, will you?
Sam's wife