Secret Stories, Vol 2

Alright, this is the ultimate secret story. In fact, this happened over a month ago, and I am just now able to blog about it.

It all happened in my local Rite Aid. (This is a type of bootleg, country CVS or Walgreens that we have in the backwoods of Georgia.) Anyway, I went to develop some new pics of the mini-hunk, and I immediately put him in the buggy. (A buggy is a bootleg, county way of saying shopping cart.)

Well, I looked and looked for a cart with the strap to buckle the Mini-Hunk in. However, all of the straps had been cut out. (Yeah, you think you know where this is going....but it is going to take a turn.) I decide to put the Hunk in the cart, and just keep one hand on him the whole time.

So, I print my pics (with one hand on the kid at all times), and I am constantly entertaining the Hunk. I feel like super mom...I pull books, toys, and snacks out of his bag. It is like a magic hat. I just keep it coming. Sure, he has pulled off his shoes, made a mess of the cart, and is yelling, "hey there" at anyone within 20 yards, but overall, I am feeling pretty successful!

Then, when we go to leave, I realize we have a bit of a problem...the Mini Hunk's leg seems to be stuck in the bars of the buggy. I gently tug on the leg....no help. I firmly tug on the leg, the Mini Hunk begins to whimper.

Now...this is where it gets fuzzy. I remember trying to get the leg out....baby screaming....my heartbeat loud in my ears...I yell for someone to get some baby oil...a crowd gathering...muffled comments about how the baby should have been buckled in. Finally, a very oily mom and son leave (both with tears in their eyes.)

What a nightmare! After a call to the doctor, I realized that the Mini-Hunk was OK (he was laughing by the time we got home, and I am almost certain it was AT ME!) Later in the afternoon, this is the dialog my husband had to hear (through blubbering tears):

"How could this have happened? I mean, I totally understand how Brittany Spears feels now (Yeah, since I am so wealthy and famous, I can totally relate-ha!)...what if anyone finds out about this? Can you imagine photos of this on US Weekly? No wonder she is crazy! I am mortified to go back to the store. I am a horrible mother....Gasp...what if they call DFCS on me?etc, etc...sob...etc" (Better dramatics that daytime TV.)

Now, after a few weeks of dealing with my first goof, I can find some humor in the situation. I just think how I sounded like a frantic lunatic yelling for baby oil with the same urgency I would have used if I was going to dismantle a nuclear bomb in the store. Or, how we looked that day leaving the store all greased up like a pig at the state fair. Or, how great it would have been to cold cock the lady that whispered I should have buckled him in....duh! I was in a fragile state...that lady should really kick her filter on high! Protective moms can be CRAZY!

So, next time you feel like the worst mom ever....surf on over. I know I have got ya beat, but at least I am still laughing!