What Happened Here?

So, I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but I just gotta say it.

Pregnancy does nothing good for a gal's body! I know that I am most likely preaching to the choir here (since we are all moms), but I got out of the shower today and had to muffle a scream.

At first, I thought it was just the "post-pregnancy" phase of the deal, but I am now convinced that is a load of propaganda. With the mini-hunk's first birthday fast approaching, I realize that this mutation is permanent.

The upper half of me has migrated south and apparently it wasn't just for the winter. It's summer now, and it is still down south....way down south. If Victoria has a secret for me, it will be nothing short of rocket science.

Then there are the nether regions that I would rather not discuss....ever. Yeah, I think that type of conversation is covered by doctor/patient confidentiality, so I probably shouldn't talk about it.

Even my hairstylist, said to me, "What has happened to your hair? It's so...different!" (NOTE: when someone says "different" in that context, it means "horrific".)

Here is the kicker: Despite all this, we are talking about getting pregnant again..umm...in about half a decade!

Maybe I will get some hair weave in the meantime? Sigh.