Secret Stories, Vol 3

Just visiting from my break to vent a bit. I have the WORST ever secret story to tell! Oh, it is terrifying. Let me start by giving you a little background...

I am a Holly Hobby sort of girl. Generic enough to be confused with others and often forgettable. While I am short enough to make ten pounds look like twenty, I am still tall enough to ride the rides at Six Flags. Oprah would say that I am "apple shaped." (Yet another reason I am peeved with her...What woman wants to be compared to fruit?) Anyway, even if I run everyday, my legs just get thin like Barbie (okay, more like Skipper)...however, the "apple" does not seem to register all the blood, sweat, and tears and firmly stays put.

Having said this, the other day I was at a family reunion. We were all talking about birth and baby nonsense, and my aunt wanders over. She asks, "Oh, Kendra, are you pregnant again?" CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Come on! Unless some one's water breaks or is wearing a T-shirt that says "bun in the oven," you just DON'T ask!!!! So, I just said "no" and dismissed it as a comment based on what she overheard from our conversation. Sure, that must be it....

Then, about a week later in Target, I was shopping for socks for the Mini Hunk. Well, this lady just looks over and asks me, "Are you expecting?" GASP...oh the horror! Through clenched teeth, I said "no......" My strong sense of sarcasm was the only thing that helped me through. Since this lady was more of an, ummmm....lets say, watermelon shape, I almost snapped back, "Yeah, well, you are no Cindy Crawford, either." However, I just enjoyed my ugly thought and walked away. Uhhhh, depressing! I have done 100 crunches every night since...well, almost every night. :)

* Note: The aunt I am referring to is not the one you will find here...it is another aunt who obviously has poor eyesight.

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